Never stand in between collins and hannah montana!
by XmasBrunchJustUs
Summary: Another story about rings? Yes! Collins has a new obsession with the popstar Hannah montana i kno shes not invented yet play along! how much more can Angel take of this fan boy? Angel lives! T for only language again
1. The first establishment

I know, another story about rings. Rings rule. But this story's not all fluffy and drama like the other one! This story is funny and its about Collins being obsessed with Hannah Montana… I know the show didn't happen yet but let's just pretend miley and Hannah were brought to live many years b4, ok? And also Angel is a HE! Ok? Please don't review saying 'you're supposed to call angel a she' because I'm calling him a he. Thank u hope u likie!

"YOU GET THE BEEEEESSSTT OF BOOOOTTHHH WOOOORRRLLLDDDS!" Collins was singing at the top of his lungs, spastically jumping around in front of the little TV set in the loft. Angel, sitting nearby, was trying to put together a new skirt like the one the girl was wearing on TV- pink with the little stars hanging off it- but not getting very far with the dying cat screaming next to him. "Honey, what are you doing?" he finally decided to ask, maybe now he'd get somewhere with his skirt. "I'm watching my favorite show." Collins replied proudly. "Hannah Montana!"

"Hm." Angel said quietly, glad Collins had shut up so he could get back to his skirt.

"LIIIIIIIFES WHAT U MAAAAAKKKKEEE ITTTTT SO LETSSS MAKE IT ROOOOCCCKKKK!!!!!"

_Ah, what's the point? _Angel thought, putting his needle down and taking a seat next to Collins in front of the TV. Angel'd never seen this show before, and didn't know do much about it other than about all the words to the songs from Collins bursting out into singing in his dead-cat falsetto voice every 10 seconds. The show looked kinda interesting though.

"Oh, no she didn't!"

"Huh?"  
"That wig is a fashion crime! I mean with that belt? What kind of a look was that child going for anyway? She should have chosen a wig more natural, like her hair color, because I can totally tell it's not working for her! And if she had to wear the wig it should go with brighter colors- the girl's a spring, not a fall-."

"Sh sh sh!! The wig is to hide her secret identity!"

"What?" now he figured he should just shut up and watch. The show started with the girl in the tick-tacky wig up on stage, singing one of Collins favorites- "LIFE'S WHHHAATTT YOOOOUU MAAAAKKKEEE IIIIITTTT!!!!!!!" Angel pressed his face into his hands, thinking maybe he should go downstairs to put the skirt together. Collins finished, a little bit after the child who angel'd caught on was 'Hannah Montana' making the first bit of Hannah's line a bit hard to here "-totally I could sing all night if you guys wanted me to!!" and some more music played, and Angel was scared Collins would start singing. (Thank god he didn't!) For some reason a little boy spreading butter to toast sang. "You want some toast? I bet cha do!" and then this country guy starting singing, who angel recognized but couldn't quite put out the name- "Please add some jam and buuutter too!" and the boy sang again, they appeared to be going back and forth. "Were outta grape- so sad! It's all your fault u bad dad!"

"Son- ya got nerve!" the audience and Collins laughed, but angel didn't get it. "What does-"

"SHUSH!"

A brunette girl came down the stairs, and the dad started making a big fuss over her. "Hey!" Angel cried, suddenly getting something. "That girl looks like the popstar-."

"She IS the popstar!" Collins replied just to shut his boyfriend up. "Huh?"

"I told you! Secret identity!" now angel got it! "Ooohhh so she's like bat-man? She wants to be a normal kid but's a superstar so she leads a double life- ahhh I get it."

So they watched the rest of the show in peaceful silence. It was a pretty cool episode, the girl who pretends to be Hannah lost her voice so she couldn't sing for a while then she had to get surgery and was scared it would go wrong and she could never be Hannah Montana again, but then she had a dream were her dead mother came back to life and fixed her voice and they all lived happily after ever. Angel actually found himself enjoying it a lot!

"Soooo wat'cha thiiinnnkk?" Collins prodded excitedly. "I like that child's voice. What's the dolls name? Smiley…"

"Miley Cyrus!" the TV boomed. "Yes, that's it!"

"SHH! They're talking about a concert!" Angel frowned, but shut up again. "-As Hannah Montana live in concert at Madison square garden! This Saturday! Call the number below for ticket information!" before anything even came from Collins's mouth, Angel knew to cover his ears-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Collins jumped up, screaming at the top of his lungs and running in circles around the loft.

"What the fuck man!?" Roger cried angrily, poking his little blonde head out of his bedroom door. "Could you shut the hell up! Me and Mimi are busy in here!"

"Eewww…"

"Awww!"

"Erg, I didn't mean it like that! Ugh…" Roger stammered, trying to remember what he was so mad about. Oh, right. "Collins, dear I know that on eventfully times like this you cannot control your little gay out bursts, and I told you I'd be happy to buy you that muzzle you've been wanting with Mark's pay-check **(he got a new job yay him) **but please, gimme fifteen minutes! FIFTEEN MINUTES!" And the little blonde head returned behind the door with a SLAM. Collins shrugged and went out side for a little bit more scream time. But unfortunately he locked himself out and the dogs were barking at his noisiness so angel threw down the key. And all the way down the stairs… "Can we go Can we go Can we go Can we go Can we go Can we go can we huh huh huh????" Angel rolled his eyes with a shrug. "Alright darling, ill pay. Only if you promise! -." Collins listened intently for his promise. "To let me finish my skirt."

"YES!"

And Hannah Montana was on!

**Please be gentle with reviewing! Peace!**


	2. It's pink, plastic and FABULOUS!

"Angel? Where's your wig? Children are running away crying when they see you!" Joanne, who'd been tricked by Maureen into coming to see Hannah Montana with Collins and Angel whispered to him (I mean Angel) "It's getting cleaned doll… you think I went too far with the make-up?" he replied through bulging red lips, glitzy purple eyelids, and those rosy red cheeks that had just gotten a few more pats of blush today. "Uh, Yeah!" Joanne spurted out honestly, as the four-some made their way through Hannah Montana's crowded audience. Angel spotted a little girl crying around his feet (those short cute things), and stooped down to her level. "Calm down honey, I don't bite." Angel smiled, pulling a lollipop from his freshly stitched coach bag. "Here baby." The girl took it nervously, still too scared for words. Angel smiled again and the child scurried away, and he was positive now that the make-up was too much. He dusted off his brand new pink skirt with the dangly stars (yay it was done!) "I think you were right hon'" Angel whispered to Joanne. Far ahead of the two, Maureen and Collins were skipping along, shrieking "Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!"

"This is disgusting." Joanne groaned. How did Maureen ever talk her into this? Angel shrugged. "It could be good." Joanne just glared at him like, 'Ok, I knew you were gay but I always thought you had some common sense'

They settled down in the back, after much argument over how hard it is to see from the back, but they were taller than most of the audience and they'd get in peoples ways. So in the back they were, waiting and waiting. A few little girls came up to Angel to tell him they liked his skirt, but as soon as they saw his powdered Barbie doll face, they got scared and let out hose cute little screams. Angel's lollipops seemed to make them feel better though. Joanne stood off to the side, mumbling to herself of how the supposedly beautiful garden reeked of rich mothers and dirty little girls and the concert was going to be so boring and fake and what kind of grown man or woman could possibly be so excited that they were screaming louder then the children- then when she got here, her mind crossed over to the thought that homosexuals probably didn't count. These were Collins and Maureen, standing in front of them screaming and screaming! Finally Angel just sighed and hollered to Joanne over all the noise, "Girlfriend, I know this is gonna be another 20 minutes! Want anything from the street vendor?"

"Yes puh-lease!"

Angel was on his way. He bought two apples from the street vendor and turned to go back- when he noticed a rack of toy machines. One of them was full of crystal pets, and the other of the classic gumballs, but it was the final one that really caught Angel's eye. A machine full of pink, plastic star-shaped jewel rings! _'That would go perfect with my new skirt!' _ He thought excitedly, dropping a quarter to the machine without a 2nd thought. "Watch it faggot!" a some city trash shouted as he obviously purposely tripped over angel's crouching body in front of the machine. "Save your breath for a cigarette baby!" Angel called after him sweetly, used to the insults and too happy to get aggressive anyway. What a Ring! It was just a little big on his finger, but so cool! He even had on a happy face to get back to the garden full of stinky shrieking kids. He tossed Joanne her apple and sat down to wait- Hannah Montana was starting soon!


	3. IntroducingMissHannah Montana!

"HANNAH! HANNAH! HANNAH! HANNAH!"

"You'd think their throats would've gotten sore by now." Joanne mumbled. Angel nodded, half listening. His eyes were fixed on the blonde wig emerging from stage left. "Hey y'all!" Hannah Montana screamed through her microphone, running to take her place center-stage. She really couldn't been any taller than the little girls in the audience- let alone louder, either, over all that noise the children were making. The popstar was wearing her long, blonde tacky wig (well according to angel) with a pair of black high heeled boots, a black tank top covered in sparkly star sparkles, a pink skirt with pink dangly stars that angel recognized, these sleeve things in black and pink that weren't attached to her shirt, and more jewelry than a charm school! Haha! But seriously, it must be hard to move with all that metal angel thought.

"ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK TONIGHT!?!?!?!"

"AAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Joanne tried shouting something to angel, but her voice quickly blended into the shrieks of the children Collins and Maureen.

"LET'S DO THIS!" And the music blared. Angel knew the song, Collins loved the song, Maureen would belt out the lyrics whether she knew the song or not, and Joanne was hiding her face from a client she say nearby with his 4-year-old daughter. Then the girl started _singing_ and right away angel and Joanne's minds pulsed the same thoughts-

_FAKER!_

"That is so lip-syncing!" Angel whispered to Joanne, figuring that would be the only way for her to hear. "Tell me about it…don't tell Maureen, or it will be another reenactment of her pulling off Mark's Santa Claus beard at the Christmas party and starting her protest against posing as Santa-."

Ok, now Joanne was going off and Angel was feeling sad. He thought this girl was the real thing. "The doll's mouth's not even moving…" he whispered solemnly to himself, trying to absorb the audited music. _'Only two more hours of this, two more hours!'_

By the final song, Joanne and Angel had both figured out their own ways to kind of enjoy themselves…

Angel decided that if he didn't look at her, he wouldn't have to watch what a horrible job she was doing and he could listen to the songs that he actually liked. So he just watched like the guitar player or something (who was pretty hot actually…)

Joanne, on the other hand, had a much more practical method- shutting her eyes and plugging her ears. She didn't really care too much about how silly she looked- women who wear suspenders usually don't.

"Nobody's Perfect…"

And her big finale had ended, (which was actually Angel's favorite song, if you must know) and the concert was over. The crowd roared, and Hannah Montana smiled all big like she'd done a great job or something, then hollered, "Thank you, g'night everybody!" She waved a jewelry-covered hand to the crowd.

And in that moment of her wave, Collins witnessed something shiny dropping to the floor, and noticed it right away, with his addiction to shiney things and all. "Hey, shiney!" he squealed, but then picking it up, he discovered it wasn't just any old shiney thing. "It's-it's---." Then he was breathing again.

"Hannah Montana's ring"

MORE ON MONDAY I HOPE!! KEEP REVIEWING!!


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